Asking Exercise

First, ways to respond: Yes, no, explanation, none, curt, alternative, apology...

1. In twos or threes, think of a time or situation in which you need or needed help.

2. Person One:

a. Ask clearly for what you want (can be big thing, can be little & inconsequential – you can experiment with asking "nicely" and not)

b. Wait for the answer from your partner, and pay attention to how it feels


3. Person Two:

a. Answer the question, first with a "yes"

b. Take just a moment: how did that feel

c. Then have your partner ask again and answer with a "no"

d. How did that feel from each side?


4. Switch sides & repeat:

a. Think about how it feels to say & hear each

b. Did it matter how the question was asked? What answer was given?



• Ask for silly things: "Can I borrow your nose?"

• Ask for big things: "Would you go camping with me this weekend?"

• Ask for little things: "Could I take your backpack with me camping?"

• Ask for real or make-believe things

• See what it's like to say "yes"; to say "no"; to hear "yes", to hear "no"

• Try different ways of saying each – nicely, not nicely.

• Play with it ----- and you'll get better!

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