Tips on Making Friends

There's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf. You have more time to do the things you want to do, like take introspective walks, read books, write and other solitary endeavors. But it’s also nice to have friends. Sometimes you need that one person to talk to. You can play games, hang out or even just talk on the phone. So consider these suggestions to meet people and form strong, lasting friendships.Some general rules: 1) Friendships require a lot of tolerance and it boils down to how much you are willing to give and take. 2) Don’t judge others based on our own values, accept your friend as who he is. 3) Let friendships unfold naturally – don’t push it. 4) There's no perfect method to getting a friend. It's a natural process, and if it happens, it happens. 5) Friendship is a feeling which makes one happy and comfortable.

  1. Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself out there somehow in order to meet people. Friends seldom come knocking on your door.
  1. Join: An organization, club or team. You don't necessarily need to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them. In fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all. If you have access to a computer, Facebook, Twitter, BlendAbout and Google+ are great way to meet new people and learn more about the people you meet.  A church, Masjid (mosque), temple or other house of worship is a great place to start since you have at least a religious faith in common.
  2. Volunteer.Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do (a common cause).
  3. Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church but you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. Any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you in the lunch line. Don't be too picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, when you may never talk to that person again, or you just remain acquaintances--but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.
  4. Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship. Be approachable by not looking bored, frowning or appearing blankly deadpan, folding your arms or hanging out in a corner; such habits may make you look troubled or disinterested.
  5. Start a conversation / Make small talk. There are many ways to do this; a comment about your immediate environment (The weather is a classic: "At least it's not raining like last week!"), a request for help ("Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?" or "Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my mom?") or a compliment ("That's a nice car." or "I love your shoes."). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like this warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that?
  6. Introduce yourself at the end of the conversation. It can be as simple as saying "Oh, by the way, my name is...” Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name! If you show that you remembered things from your past conversation(s) with the person, he or she will see that you were paying attention and are willing to be a true friend.
  7. If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others (in a club, for example) to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone come?) they'll probably invite you. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy, take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you.
  8. Don't do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you. Never chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call someone repeatedly or stop by uninvited, and don’t overstay your welcome anywhere. Take friendship slowly, and don't try to force intimacy to grow quickly; the move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time. It's understandable to want more of a good thing, but try to err on the side of less. 
  9. Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends--"one-ups-man-ship" is a put down.
  10. Be loyal to a friend. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there. If your friends make a joke, laugh with them. Never complain about a friend.
  11. Be reliable. If you and your friend agree to meet somewhere, don't be late, and do not stand them up. If you're not going to make it on time or make it at all, call them as soon as you realize it. Apologize and ask to reschedule. Don't make them wait for you unexpectedly; it's rude, and it is certainly not a good way to launch a potential friendship. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.
  12. Be trustworthy. The key to being a good friend is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. 
  13. Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get along with than others. You need to realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if a person is obsessively needy or controlling towards you, constantly critical, or introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. Preoccupy yourself with other things, such as a new volunteer opportunity, so that you can honestly say that you don't have enough time in your schedule to spend time with them.  
  14. Put emphasis on the good, unique qualities about yourself. Are you funny? If yes, then great, a little humor always keeps conversation light and happy, and people love to be around someone who makes them laugh. If you have a quirky, different style of humor then make sure you let them know that the things you say are in fact a joke, so that you don't just come across as simply weird.